The Red Silk Purse

The Red Silk Purse

Rating *****

I think I may have to rename my blog. I feel many more of these more personal musings coming on, but I can’t help it! My husband thinks I should call it “All About Self Absorbed Me.” An unfair comment, yet isn’t there a grain of truth in all unfair comments? Plus, my love of commas is truly getting out of hand!

My latest rave is about my purse. I found the purse at Primal Eye (see address below). As soon as I laid my eyes on it, I knew it was going to be the start of a great relationship. The tiny prosperity coins on the sides only sealed the deal. I love this purse for lots of reasons; it’s red, it’s silk, it’s unusual, it’s roomy and it was only $21.00. In the days of $1800.00 Prada satchels…it’s a steal.

However, the main reason for this outpouring of devotion is that the purse has made me a man magnet! I, at 5’1 (and a half) and moving along well past plus sized model proportions, have become an absolute…man draw. I love it! My husband just poked his head in my office to ask what’s for dinner. I ignored his question and told him I was finally going to let my readership in on the secret of my newfound popularity.

He pointed out that my seven regular readers will be deeply disappointed when Oprah comes a calling and they find out I pulled a James Frey. I indignantly reminded him that he has been with me on at least nine occasions when men (rugged looking manly men) have taken a second look and complimented me…or at least the purse. Not to mention that women actually cross streets to ask me where I got it.

Needless to say, he didn’t have to be reminded of the time I left my purse sitting on the table at Fetaz Mediterranean Bistro (great gyros, felafel, hummus, salads and super fast) while I went to the counter to see about a fruit salad. He was reading the newspaper and a handsome male server stopped to fawn over the purse. Fearing that now he was becoming a man magnet, he explained loudly to the entire place that the purse “belongs to my wife!”

He just left my office in a huff when I suggested that if men come up to a woman and stare longingly and lustfully at her purse in front of her 6’3 218 pound husband, imagine what they do when he’s not around? I love sending him off with a little something to think about. I’ll do damage control later. He’ll be getting chips and my famous onion-cucumber dip. What? Don’t all couples have make-up dip?

I’m officially letting all women in on the secret of the red purse. If you carry this purse, I guarantee you'll begin having conversations with men the minute you arrive on the scene...wherever it is. Waiting in line at stores is the best. There I am, standing in line wearing my yoga pants, t-shirt, and no make-up (except lipstick-I LOVE lipstick) looking rather frazzled and usually in a hurry, only to find myself the object of lots of male attention! Men of all ages, races, sizes, and professions cannot resist staring and eventually commenting on it. Some even sheepishly joke with one another about how they’ve never noticed a purse in their lives and now they want to look at mine!

Purse envy…the dark side of female behavior. I must address it. When I’m being hoisted onto the shoulders of male admirers and paraded through the bank like a goddess, women have either one of two reactions. The nice and normal women scoot over and get in on the purse excitement…it’s contagious. However, the nasty ones give me the once over, quickly assess me as a non-threat, and start all kinds of strange “look at me, look at me” posturing. They flounce their hair, run their hands over their legs to adjust stockings, and well, you get the picture. Anyway, it’s all in vain. Once a man has been magnetized by the purse and then held captive by my charm, it’s all over but the crying.

My husband sometimes watches from afar and then mimics me later. “Oh, you like my purse? I do too! Isn’t it the best! I love, love, love it! Ooooh, do you like my smile? I think I’m so cute when I smile. Please sir, tell me how cute I am. Oh, you want to make love to me? Here? Oh my, my, my…big fella, you’re just incorrigible! What? You want to see me smile again? Hee-hee-hee! Now stop it you! Oh, there I go again being cute, I can’t help it! I’m so adorable.”

I think he exaggerates slightly, but I do counter compliments on my purse with enthusiasm. Speaking of enthusiasm, I must confess that when the first red purse began to show signs of wear and tear, I panicked. I raced over to Primal Eye (an ironic name considering…) faster than Cinderella at midnight and was told they couldn’t get any more from their supplier!!! Oh Hell!! Fortunately, my husband insisted that the young staffer didn’t have a clue and that I go in the next week. He’s usually right, so I did.

I’m ashamed to admit that not only did I buy all three they had in, but I bought two other purses as well! Let it be known that the black one (see picture) has already begun to work its magic. At my last playwright’s group in Madison, I put copies of my play in it and my personal things in the red one. One of the men complimented the black purse and when I set the red one down next to it, he did a double take and agreed with me that it was “pretty fantastic” too!

So, there you have it folks…more self indulgent ramblings to follow!

My Primal Eye collection!

Primal Eye
(Shop for fun & functional art, bath items, gifts, lighting and furniture for the casual lifestyle-and of course purses)
128 N Broadway Street
Green Bay WI 54303

Fetaz Mediterranean Bistro

(Try the gyros, house cut fries, quiche of the day and baklava)

229 N Washington

Green Bay WI 54301

920-432-3382